It would be fair to say that I don’t tend to sit on the sidelines of life. I get involved. I take chances, try new things, and push myself to figure out what I’m capable of physically and mentally. This affliction to nudge my own boundaries is why I’ve had some really interesting and unique life experiences.
That all sounded very carpe diem, didn’t it? So let me take a little pause before continuing, to mention a major contributing factor. I’ve gotten really lucky on countless occasions that things didn’t end up badly —or at least— worse than they did. One lesson I’ve had to learn, and re-learn, is that my body is not always willing to go as far as my mind intends to take it. And that’s where I find myself in this moment. Fresh out of the operating room from a surgery to repair a torn labrum in my hip (I do not recommend wakeboarding, by the way).
Lying on my back, with my leg in a continuous passive motion machine (for 2 hours per session, 3 times a day), gave me ample time to reflect on my current condition and all the times I’ve ended up in a similar state.
And since I had so much time on my hands, I decided to create a visual aid to reflect my body’s history. A diagram that shows what people can’t see just by looking at me.
As my head-to-toe image shows, I’ve been down and out several times. Enough times that if I had a surgery punch card, I’d be getting my next procedure free.
Being in an injured state is a tough place to be mentally; especially for a physically active person. But I’ve realized that times like these are when I tend to learn the most, because what better teachers are there than pain and hardship?
I have to admit, I fancy myself a bit of an expert when it comes to being on the injured list. But achieving this “expert” level didn’t come easy. I learned the hard way how to navigate these sorts of circumstances.
One of my biggest lessons came when I was twenty years old. I found myself camped out in a hospital bed, trying not to die from a severe staph infection that I acquired from a knee surgery. Up until that point, I was what some may refer to as fiercely independent. But when you’re completely submerged in a level of pain that you didn’t know was even possible, stuck in a body that is in the middle of a mutiny, you recognize that there are times when you’ve got no other choice but to ask for help. And so, as foreign and weak as it felt, I learned to ask for help when I needed it. And over time, I came to recognize that asking for help when I need it is on the opposite spectrum from weak; it’s wise.
Having taken the hard route makes me feel compelled to pass on what I’ve learned to help others have an easier go should they ever end up on the injured list themselves. And so, I’d like to offer you my preparation list.
Now, I know I just said I learned to ask for help, but part of preparing for a circumstance where you know you’ll be down for a while (like surgery, chemo/radiation treatments, or giving birth) is about preparing ahead of time so that you can minimize how much you actually need to ask for help. Because no matter what, when you’re down and out, it’ll feel like you have to ask for help for everything, all the time.
Alright, here we go!
Clean your house. The next time you’ll be able to clean your house is probably further away than you’re imagining, and you should anticipate having visitors stop by after your surgery/procedure/birth. Put away what you don’t want out in the open for everyone to see while you still have your full function and faculties.
Do your laundry. Everyone’s laundry situation is different. Some people have to go to a separate building or down several flights of stairs, or to a laundromat. Regardless, starting out by having all your clothes clean is a good way to go. And on that note, be sure to pick out your — pre and post op — clothes. What can you easily slip over bulky surgical bandages? If you don’t have any clothes like that, it’s time to go and find some.
Go grocery shopping. We live in an era where you can pay extra money to have someone deliver groceries to your door, and that’s great, but getting yourself well-stocked ahead of time is a smart move. And depending on what has you down and out, getting to the front door and then carrying anything (will you be on crutches?) may be out of the question.
Make food that you’ll want to eat. Cook and freeze stuff. Have food ready that you think you’ll actually want to eat while you’re recovering. Make more food than you think you’ll need, and don’t forget to include snack food like chopped up fruit/veggies, muffins, crackers, granola bars, etc.
Make/buy yourself some treats. This is not the time to concern yourself with caloric intake so much as quality of life. What is going to give you a little pick-me-up when you’re recovering and unable to leave your house, or possibly even unable to leave your bed? Before this surgery, I made myself a batch of carrot cake cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, and you know what? Every single one of the cupcakes that I ate brought me some happiness.
Get yourself a service cart. You may be fortunate enough to have people who will tend to your every need and desire, but most common folk aren’t that fortunate. If you’re going to be on crutches and home alone, how are you going to get food/drinks from your kitchen to someplace where you can sit down and eat it? That’s right, a service cart. I bought a cheap one that was easy to assemble, and it’s worked great. It also helps move laptops, medicines, laundry, etc., from point A to point B. It’s a game-changer.
Build your nest. Figure out where (in your house) you plan to be during your recovery. Depending on the procedure, you may be forced to spend a lot of time lying down or just be unable to do much beyond sitting around. Where do you want to spend those seemingly endless hours over the next 1-2 weeks? Will your bedroom be a good place to spend that much time? Is there someplace in your house that makes sense to set up a nest where you can get good natural light, and also provides space to be around other people?
Whatever space you choose, building your nest ahead of time is key. Collect all of your post-procedure creature comforts and get yourself set up. Cozy blankets, pillows, books, crafts (like knitting, crocheting, etc.), notebook/journal, pen/pencils, games (brainteaser books), etc. And don’t forget about proximity to an electrical outlet, for medical devices or your electronics that may need to be plugged in.
Getting ready for the big day
Pack your bag. When the time finally comes, make sure you have your bag packed. Pack your glasses/contact case as needed, a book (there will be waiting time), or something else to keep you occupied. And be sure to pack your water bottle and a few post-op snacks that you can have once you’re coherent. Simple soft snacks are a good bet.
Read your pre and post op instructions ahead of your procedure. Make sure you know and understand your pre-op restrictions so that you don’t show up only to be sent home because you ate a sandwich an hour earlier. It’s also a good idea to read your post-op instructions before the procedure so that you can ask informed questions at check-in, if you have any. Pre-op is your opportunity to ask about medications, too. Ask what they intend to prescribe, and why. That way, you can opt out or request different meds as necessary.
Post Procedure
Congratulations! You made it to the other side of surgery. It hurts, doesn’t it? It’s almost as if someone cut your body open with a very sharp knife and then played around with your innards for a while… Most hospitals want to discharged patients as soon as possible, so there isn’t a lot of lying around while you slowly come to your senses. Waking up from anesthesia can be an interesting experience, and the ride home is basically a blur. But somehow, someway, you’ll make it home. And now that you’re home in your nest resting, it’s time to offer you some post-op rules to live by.
Listen to your body. If you feel that something is not right, speak up. It’s crucial to be your own advocate. Yes, you are dealing with specialists and experts who should know best, but you are the authority of your own body so trust what your body is telling you and make sure you are being heard.
In this same vein, don’t drown out the pain with meds to the point where you can’t tell what’s happening. If something is wrong, you want to know that something is wrong before things escalate. Drowning out pain can also cause setbacks if you’re doing too much too soon, but are unable to recognize it because your pain meter is numbed out. This is not to say that you shouldn’t take any pain medication at all. Sleep is important, and if you’re in too much pain to get good sleep, that will negatively impact your recovery time. The point is to find a middle ground between horribly painful and completely sauced.
Move your body. Injuries vary greatly, as do the invasiveness of procedures, but generally, it will still be possible to move your body in some way in the days and weeks following your procedure.
I tend to live by the “use it or lose it” concept. I may be completely down and out for a day or two, but after that, I figure out ways to integrate stretching and exercising. I modify movements to protect my injury/surgical site, but I do my best not to let my body become stagnant.
Here again, you’ve got to find the sweet spot between doing too much, and doing too little. Too much has the potential of you re-injuring yourself, and too little promotes depression.
Limit the duration of your pity party. It’s frustrating and can feel unfair to be injured or in the slow stages of rehab, but life is filled with unsavory circumstances that we humans must endure. Take some time to feel upset, sad, and angry. Grieve the temporary loss of your functional body, but then move toward healing, because feeling sorry for yourself just generates a bunch of negative energy that won’t do you a bit of good.
Get out into the fresh air as much as possible. There is ample research out there to show that spending time in nature has all sorts of health benefits. I personally believe that fresh air really is the best medicine, which is why I make it a daily priority post-procedure. For this current injury, I placed a bean bag chair on my (tiny) front porch and made it a point to sit out there for an hour every day. I’d get under a nice warm blanket and read a book, or just stare up into the tree and watch the leaves twisting in the breeze. And you know what? It’s consistently been the best hour of my day. But maybe you can’t physically make it outside for a while after returning home. If that’s the case, opening a window, even in cold weather, can do some good too.
Ask for help. We’ve already covered this, but post-op is the time when you’ll need help, which means you may have to ask for help. It’s not an easy task for many, so just keep in mind that people are generally happy to help if we let them. There may even be a meal train set up in your honor if you allow space for people to take care of you. Take a deep breath… You can do it.
Be among people. Injuries can be extremely isolating, so consider building your nest in a place where you can interact with people. It’s nice to have friendly faces around, so when a friend offers to stop in for a visit, take them up on their offer. It’s amazing how the right friend or family member can completely lift your spirits and help you to remember that this tough moment in time isn’t forever.
Take your rehab seriously. We each get one body per lifetime. How we treat our bodies generally dictates our long-term quality of life. Physical therapy (PT) after a procedure is like the magic fairy dust that will allow us to have a fully functional body again. But here’s the thing: You have to do the work. You know that old saying, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them drink”? Well, physical therapists can provide you with all of the right stretches and exercises for you to be successful, but if you don’t do them, you’ll be stuck with a quasi-dysfunctional body.
The hard truth is that PT will be painful at times and take longer than you want it to, but eventually you’ll get there. On the upside, your first PT visit will feel like you’re getting to go on a field trip, because you finally get to leave your house! You might even feel motivated enough to change your clothes for the first time in several days. I’ve worked with at least 10 different physical therapists over the years, and I respect that profession more than any other. It’s truly astonishing where I start off vs. where I finish each time I go through therapy. Like I said, PTs have the magic fairy dust. There will be dozens of tiny victories throughout your PT journey, and those are the things to focus on and celebrate as you progress along. The tiny victories are what will keep you going.
And last but not least,
Be where you are. You can’t go back to being uninjured, and you can’t fast forward through the rehab… just be where you are.
There will be ups and downs, and there might be moments where you feel like you truly can’t make it through (my first major injury, I fantasized for weeks about a leg amputation because the rehab was so horrendous). Just know that’s all part of the journey. It may not be enjoyable in the moment, but from my experience (and don’t forget, I’m an “expert”), you’ll find yourself coming out the other side taking less for granted.
I have suffered through the process of regaining my full function many times, and each time it helps me feel more appreciative of my body and grateful that I was born fully able-bodied. That’s not something most of us think about very often because we don’t have to. When I’m not injured, I can walk up and down stairs, hike, run, jump, lift heavy things, etc. I don’t need to ask for help in order to use the bathroom, and I don’t need assistance in feeding myself. I am privileged in this way. So even though this body of mine is well-worn, it has gifted me a lifetime of amazing experiences. That’s where I am. And in my “expert” opinion, there are much worse places I could be.
