Fellow Moms, Here’s to Us. 

Here’s to us for managing to stay alive.

First of all, it’s amazing we even survived childbirth. Where’s my certificate of achievement for that? And that’s only day one on the job of motherhood, y’all. Whether a mom gave birth, adopted, or married into the role, being a mom is exhausting. Truly. It’s a sort of exhaustion that is unlike any other. But somehow, being a mom is simultaneously energizing in its own inexplicable way.

A mom might be a shell of a human being by their kid’s bedtime, but we’re also filled with a love so pure that it’s otherworldly, and that’s what keeps us going day to day. There’s a reason why mama bears are universally feared. Our kids might be loud, sloppy maniacs that take us on a regular trip to the edge of our sanity, but they’re also fiercely loved even in their worst moments.

Here’s to us because of the things we do.

The daily little things that don’t seem like much on their own, but by the end of any given day amounts to a Mount Everest-sized pile of momming. We change diapers, make breakfast/lunch/dinner and snacks; and depending on the age of our child, we are actually creating their breakfast, lunch, and dinner with our own bodies! 

We load up backpacks, sign permission slips, brush hair, act as quality control for dental hygiene, make negotiations about weather appropriate clothing, provide first aid, find lost items, wash dishes, do laundry, grocery shop, make meals, clean, and then somewhere in between we chauffer our kids to school, sports, clubs, dance lessons, music lessons, rehearsals, swim lessons, hang outs, and meet-ups. Then on top of it all, we go to work at a job that pays us money.

And speaking of things we do… How about packing? Who’s packing for a trip? I could give you two guesses but seriously, do you need two guesses? We all know who’s packing for a trip. I don’t know what the other people in a family are doing with their time leading up to a trip but they definitely aren’t packing. 

Once we’ve finally left home and are on our way, that’s when I hear either from my child or my husband, “Do we have anything to eat? I’m hungry.” Of course, we do. Because while these other people were staring at spider webs or whatever it is they were doing before we left, I was actually packing. Because moms pack dammit. Not just the basics either; we pack for every possible contingency and freak weather event.  

There are other momming things too. There are baths to draw, coats to zip, school supplies to hunt across three stores for, Halloween candy to buy, teams to coach, cakes to bake, and illnesses to tend to. Because we all know that when a child is sick the main place they want to be is on their mom. Not near, or next to their mom, but on their mom. 

Is the illness contagious? Absolutely. Will you contract it? No question.

Will the child who got you sick come and care for you after they’ve rebounded from their sickness? Of course not. But they will swing by for a four second cameo, say hi, and ask you what’s for dinner. 

Here’s to us because we pay attention, and we know all the things. 

We know just by the look on our kid’s faces when they’re hurt, uncomfortable, happy, scared, excited, upset, irritated, embarrassed, sleepy, confused, or need to use the bathroom. We know the names of our kid’s friends, the names of their friends’ parents, their classmates, teachers, coaches, and even the school crossing guards.

Moms know the correct size to slice, dice, or chop food to get our kids to eat it. We know the correct portions. We know favorite foods and “ain’t gonna happen” foods. We know what days the field trip, doctor, and dentist appointments are. We know by touch if our kid has an elevated temperature. We can tell by the glossiness of their eyes when they’re getting sick. Moms really do know all the things.

Here’s to us for being a walking first aid kit

Moms somehow manage to have all the things anyone could need at any given time. We have drinking water, sunscreen, Chapstick, extra clothing, tissues, and medical supplies. How? Where did that cold compress come from? I don’t know, but here you go.

Here’s to us for being snacktastic.

One of the most universally known facts about moms is that we always have snacks. I mean always. I could be floating in the middle of the ocean with nothing for miles around, and yet somehow magically produce a snack out of thin air if prompted. Moms. Have. Snacks. 

Here’s to us because we bring the magic.

Yes, momming is all about making holidays special, finding the favorite stuffed animal that went missing, pulling off elaborate birthday parties, reading bedtime stories, coming up with fun crafts, making things from scratch, having impromptu dance parties in the living room, creating amazing scavenger hunts, and surprising our kids in the best possible ways.

Here’s to us for being present.

We set boundaries, offer guidance, enforce rules, give hugs, provide encouragement, deliver reality checks and listen; really listen. We root for our kids and attend concerts, recitals, plays, performances, games, matches, and graduations.

Being present is all about looking over homework and pretending like we understand it. It’s about saying yes to lemonade stands, and talent shows. It’s about permitting fort building that takes up the entire living room. It’s about saying yes, no, maybe, and “we’ll see.” 

Here’s to us for letting go, just enough. 

Every age and stage brings beauty and challenges, and moms are there for it all. But some of those stages are observed from a heart-wrenching distance because kids grow into independence claiming teenagers, and before you know it your kids are moving out of the house to live on their own. It might be nature’s cruelest joke. This is where moms feel a twisted mixture of pride, fear, and complete heartache.

These things sneak up on you. You never know when the last time will be the last time. The last time your baby sleeps on your chest, the last time your toddler grasps your finger as you walk together, the last time you carry them in a wrap or baby carrier, the last time you transfer them inside from the car asleep, the last time they ask you to sleep next to them, the last time you cuddle them while they’re sick, the last time they fit on your lap for a hug… There are so many last times as a mom; each one leaving a mark on your heart. 

Here’s to us for discovering our full selves.

Before becoming a mom, I really thought that I knew myself and I felt completely fulfilled in life. I was not a lost soul. But after having a baby something happened. It was as if I was walking down a hallway and all of a sudden, a door appeared. On the other side of that door was a whole other dimension of my being that I didn’t even know existed. It’s a part of me I never would have been introduced to if I had never become a mom, and as it turns out, it’s the best part of me. 

But being a mom requires sacrifice. Sometimes it requires an extraordinary amount of sacrifice that our children will never hear about. Before having a child, I would never have considered myself a selfish person but now, being a mom, I can recognize just how selfish we humans are without even realizing it. So much of what our moms, parents, elders, teachers, and coaches do is taken for granted as we’re coming up in the world. This is not to say we don’t say thank you, or recognize the importance of these people in our lives. What I’m saying is that being a mom shifted my mentality. 

Now when I look back on my life, I take the time to look at it from my mom’s perspective too, and I feel amazed at how gracefully she let me become who I am. I don’t think I was the daughter she envisioned, but she never tried to change me, and she loves me for who I am.

My mom gave me space to live my own life without too many interjections. Having taken such an unconventional (and dangerous) career path, I’m amazed at just how calm she was about my life decisions.

But that’s what moms do. We act as navigators. We explain the terrain ahead and provide the tools to be successful for what’s coming, but ultimately, our kids will be the ones to choose their course. They might pick a smooth route, or they might select the most arduous path there is, and whichever one they choose, we’ll be there in observance. 

This is where moms wear their best poker faces. The underlying panic of watching our kids make life-altering decisions for themselves and hoping it all works out in the end is the ultimate high-stakes game. Is there worry? Absolutely. But eventually we stop worrying about our kids; you know, with our final dying breath.

Here’s to us moms because we bring new life into this world.

There’s no greater feat a human can pull off than childbirth, and yet, all that earns us is a burnt piece of toast and a glass of orange juice served in bed once a year. As tasty as that burnt toast is, offering moms a day of doing whatever they want while having to care for no one but themselves would be a true gift to any mom on Mother’s Day. It’s never a bad idea to throw in a hug and a thank you, too. 

If you ask me, being a mom is for full-hearted warriors only. And the standards are kept high for moms because we eventually graduate to become grandmothers, which we all know, are the world’s gift to humanity.   

If you think about it, collectively, moms keep the whole human race going. So, here’s to us for willingly taking on the most important job on the planet. Taking all of this into account, I’d say moms have definitely earned their day of recognition. 

And so, Happy Mother’s Day to all my fellow full-hearted warriors, it’s time to celebrate! Could someone please pass the burnt toast?